Laugh Your Baby Out

Close your eyes and remember when you delivered your baby – or, if you haven’t had one, what do you envision as the scene when baby actually comes out. Have you seen the movies, or even watched those reality TV shows where Mom is screaming, doctors and nurses are holding her legs and counting to ten? Is this what really happens? Well, yes, sometimes. But what if I told you it could be very different. What if I told you that the mood in the room could be so peaceful and inviting that laughter would deliver your baby? Sit tight… this would be unbelievable except … I was there.

First, let’s talk a about how we go to the point of delivery.

Prodromal labor, if you haven’t experienced it, is frustrating. These are contractions that we are told do not change the cervix, but are still uncomfortable and can last off and on for weeks. This is where we will begin the story of my daughter’s second delivery. She had been in prodromal labor for about 2 weeks. I had been with her for the majority of the last week, even spending the night at her house so that I would be close to her in the event she needed me. Finally, on a Friday, I suggested that we go shopping to get her mind off of the cramping and allow her body to do what it needed to do.

Natural induction is not something I believe in, (yet another blog post for another day), but she needed something to make her feel like she was working toward having her baby. So, we went shopping. We walked all over a big home improvement store and then another one. We had lunch with a friend at a Mexican restaurant where she had spicy food and then we did a little more shopping. Finally, we went back to her house.

During the previous few days, she had felt fairly certain that it was “time” meaning her contractions were coming every 3-4 minutes, lasting a minute and had been going on for well over an hour. Each time she went to the hospital to be checked (because that’s what you do in our city), they would tell her that she was dilated, but if she didn’t change in an hour or wasn’t already at 6cm, they would send her home.

This time, she felt it was different. She wouldn’t tell me exactly what her thoughts were, but she said she needed to go back to the hospital because she just wanted to know what was going on. I took her while her husband took care of babysitting arrangements for their toddler. This time, she was right! She was about 3 cm when we arrived and within an hour had moved up to 4 cm. We were staying.

She had her birth preferences clearly laid out and let the nurses know immediately. Her RN was very friendly and was happy to accommodate these wishes. She was able to refuse the IV, and move around as she wanted. They were able to find a monitor that she could take with her and not keep her tied to the bed. She walked, sat on the birth ball, rocked, danced and swayed … all without being in severe pain. The few times she had a hard time with contractions were when RNs had to come in to look at her or take vitals, etc. When she was on her back, she hurt. She found multiple positions that just made her labor easy.

Unfortunately, her RN had to leave – her shift was over. The new RN was not nearly as willing to allow my daughter to labor her way. She came in and checked her cervix (again) and said that she was definitely 6 cm was not sure how she was handling the contractions so well.

In a few minutes, a back-up doctor came in and basically said, “You are not having a hard time with contractions. I just don’t believe you are in active labor. I’ll tell you what, I will check you and if you are not 6 cm, I’ll break your water to get you going. Otherwise, I’ll just send you home and you can come back when you are in labor.” As a Mom, I wanted to throttle that doctor for manipulating my daughter into interventions that she did not want. Of course, the doctor checked her and despite ALL the other times she had been checked over the past 12 hours saying she was progressing well and was definitely at least 6, this doctor said that she was at “4 at the most.” She broke my daughter’s water and immediately the contractions were strong.

My daughter was able to find a position that worked for her … the head of the bed lifted up and she was facing it. Hip squeezes and counter-pressure were her favorite things from me. She allowed me to breathe with her and focus on that instead of the pain. Once, I switched from Doula to Mom in the middle of a contraction when she lost focus and cried, “I can’t!” I used her first name AND HER MIDDLE NAME … she immediately snapped back to focus and I put my doula hat back on.

So, now she is having these super-strong contractions (looking back now, I can see it was transition) but was only dilated to 4 cm according to the doctor who broke her water. She asked for an epidural and received it almost immediately. (Again, looking back, if we had known she had been deceived, she may not have asked for it, but then we wouldn’t have this story.) The epidural was administered and the nurse came in to check her and give her the catheter. As soon as she looked, she said, “Oh, my! You’re complete! It’s time to have a baby.”

Fortunately, at this point, my daughter’s midwife had arrived and came to the room. All the lights were out and it was late afternoon. There was just enough sunlight coming in the room for the midwife to see. There were no students, doctors, techs, etc running in and out… It was only my daughter, her husband, the midwife, a nurse (a different one, thankfully), and me – mom and doula. (At the time, we all forgot that her two brothers were in the outer room – separated only by a curtain.)

The midwife was very calm and talked to my daughter about bringing the baby down and out. They talked about pushing and my daughter said that she wanted to direct the pushing herself instead of someone else telling her how to push and for how long. *Remember the traumatic birth in Blog 1 – she didn’t want that again.* The whole time, the midwife was massaging the perineum to allow for the most stretching and reduce the chances for tearing.

In the meantime, my mother was on her way home from a beach vacation and was not going to arrive in time, so she was on FaceTime.

My daughter was trying to push as she felt contractions but the epidural had JUST taken full effect and she couldn’t really feel to push very much. I was watching and saw the top of baby’s head and saw a tiny bit of hair and commented, “Oh, look! She has some hair!”

From my phone, we all hear, “How much does she weigh?!?”

I said, “Mom, she’s crowning … she’s not out, yet!”

Then from behind the curtain (we had forgotten they were there), “Seriously?” and that made my daughter giggle. Out came baby’s head … not all the way, but definite progress … the midwife requested more jokes. So, from behind the curtain, my oldest son starts telling blonde jokes. (The midwife was blonde and just made the whole thing funnier.) As my daughter kept giggling, the baby just started making her way out.

Finally, my daughter said, “You wanna hear my favorite joke? Two drums and a cymble fell off a cliff – Ba-Dum-Cha!” She tickled herself and started laughing.

The midwife said, “Reach down here and get your baby.”

My daughter reached right between her legs and pulled baby out!

This was the most incredible, easy, birth I have witnessed. There were times that as a Momma Bear, I was angry, but I have learned that sometimes things really do work out for the best. My daughter made it all the way to transition without any interventions. She feels that had she been given better information, she could have had the complete delivery without interventions. However, she had an almost pain-free birth.

She was adamant that this would be the last baby, but she said, “If I knew it would be this easy, I’d have a hundred!” Regardless of my feelings as a mom and a doula – regardless of any bumps along the way … I’d say it was pretty perfect!

And oh … “Let me tell you about my grandchildren!” … Well, maybe another time.

Blessings!!

#Birth #childbirth #Chattanooga #Pregnancy #Doula #Delivery